I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and was not sure if I should put it on the blog, but I've decided it is an honest recognition of my feelings and that it may help someone else going through similar feelings. So here goes.
Psalm 27, verses 11-14 really struck a chord with me whilst reading the other day.
I have had a difficult couple of weeks, (probably nothing compared to yours, but it felt tough to me at the time).
We've had two leaking flat rooves for a few months now and have been cobbling things together to keep going until we could afford to fix them. I had been trying to stay strong in faith and wait on the Lord, but gradually got more and more stressed as the leaks got worse. Then, I did the worst thing I could do. I told my children how worried I was, which immediately set them worrying and trying to work something out for me by offering to pay for it, which we didn't want them to do because we didn't have children to live off them when we got older!
The last straw for me came when I found a second leak in one of the bedrooms. I had a sudden overwhelming feeling of 'This has got to be sorted now!' So I phoned my Nephew who has been waiting for us to get the money together to get the job done, and asked him if he could do one of the rooves for now, and the other one at a later date. I felt awful because I hadn't checked it with my husband, I just needed it doing now. My nephew said, "Well actually, I can come next week as the weather forecast is good and the job I was planning to do has been delayed."
I was so relieved, I said "Yes please!"
He decided to do both rooves as he had got all the equipment he needed and the job is almost completed. Plus, I believe we will now have the money to pay for it
How great is our God! He got it all sorted for us...and how grateful I am for my God and my family!
I just need to forgive myself now for stressing and doubting my God.
(My adversaries and false witnesses in the Psalm were doubt that in this situation God would not help me...why, I didn't know, and fear that I was doing the wrong thing by phoning my nephew).
But thankfully, My God was there for me, and he will be there for you too.
So, today my prayer is this;
LORD, forgiver of my failings.
I recognise I can do nothing on my own.
Help me grow in faith, in strength and most of all wisdom.
Lead me on a straight path Lord.
Let me see clearly the ways in which you help me, so that I can boast of your love to all who will listen.
Amen!
Trust in the Lord. He hears your prayers and sees your need. Stay strong in faith and wait on him.
OUR GOD HEARS OUR VOICE WHEN WE CALL ON HIM. HE IS MERCIFUL TO US WHEN WE SEEK HIM, AND HE IS OUR HELPER IN TIMES OF TROUBLE. (verses 7-8)