During my last couple of years at Junior school and first couple of years at Senior school, I was going through a nervous breakdown.
I can remember some of the looks people gave each other and although I can’t remember exact words, I know that negative things were said about me in my presence.
I was difficult to be around. I always felt so stupid! And I was angry with those around me who seemed to cope so much better than me, but I was mostly angry with myself for being weak and stupid. I could not imagine a time when I would be ok. It was a dark time in my life.
I’m sure that the people looking at me at the time thought I would never amount to much because I was so odd! And I’m sure none of them imagined that I would be a mom, much less enjoy it.
Yet Jesus saw me!
He saw my heart. And even through those difficult times I was longing to grow up and be a mom. As I grew, the mothering desire grew with me. And to my amazement as much as anyone else’s, I got married and had children. I loved it so much, although I would be lying if I said I’d found it easy. I did a lot of praying for my marriage, and my children as they grew up, and I’m sure that they grew up so well because of Jesus influence more than of my good parenting. I was determined to be the best mom I could be so that my children would be safe and happy, and I put a lot of effort into teaching them about God, maybe a bit too much at times, so that whatever happens to them they will know that they are not alone, they have a heavenly Father who loves them very much, and with Him, they can cope with anything! I think I put them off a little because I was so intense, but Jesus will keep them close to him.
Anyway, I may have mentioned before that I have had two dreams which I believe came from God. One, years ago, of saving little children from extreme danger, and one a few years ago, of saving young and old, through water, from impending doom. I realised after this one that we are all God’s children! To Him we are all as precious as our babies are to us. And it is my dream that I pass this message on to as many people as I can, hence this blog.
When we get to know him, we diligently seek him out, then we desire good things and He satisfies the good desires of our hearts. Proverbs 13:4 says;
4 A sluggard’s appetite is never filled,
but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.
I desired not only to have my own children, but to help all children grow into good people, who will love and care for each other as Jesus taught us to do. Jesus satisfies that desire in me by putting me where I can do good.
Jesus said, that anyone who has faith in Him can ask him for anything and he will receive it, because when we have real faith in Him, we will never ask for anything evil. (John 14:12-14)
He saw me, and He sees you. He just wants you to see Him.
This is how I understand my God. read for yourself, see what you think.