I heard someone say, ‘Unforgiveness is a toxic memory that poisons your whole being.

It’s a poison from your past that invades your present and ruins your future.’

It is so important to forgive – not for the person who hurt you, unless they ask for your forgiveness, but for you! Unforgiveness leads to evil thoughts and often evil words or/and actions, in other words revenge!

These days, revenge is not recognised as evil. It has become acceptable if not expected. Soaps and films are full of how to take revenge on someone. It is actively encouraged but it rarely shows how those actions harm your spirit and soul.

If you sink yourself into taking revenge on someone who has hurt you, that person has effectively gets control of your life, because you cannot get past them and what they did. The devil will constantly remind you of the hurt so you drag it round with you everywhere, and if you are not careful it becomes not just part of you, but your reason for living. It is so destructive.

And when you finally get revenge, you have just blown air onto the flames in your heart and the other person’s. Then they may want to take revenge out on you, then you on them, and so it goes on!

It feels impossible to even contemplate forgiving someone when the hurt is burning in you, but if you take it to the Lord, He will help you.

To forgive, you have to;

• make a conscious decision to let it go.
• You have to give it to God in prayer and tell him exactly how you feel, (he knows anyway so you can’t shock him).
• Every time you remember what they did and the pain they caused, say to yourself, out loud if possible, ‘Lord I forgive them as you forgave me.’
• Trust that He will take the pain away.

You may not feel what you are saying to begin with, but because you are actively forgiving the person, God hears, the pain reduces, they become less important and you find that you are getting on in your life. That is why it says in the Lord’s prayer, ‘Forgive us our sins as we forgive others and deliver us from evil.’ We are asking God to forgive us, help us forgive others and keep us from the life that revenge brings.

Jesus made the point with a parable about the unforgiving/unmerciful servant. The servant was forgiven a large debt that he owed, but would not forgive a smaller debt that someone owed him, so his master turned him over to the prison authorities. See Matthew 18:21-35. The last paragraph is important, it says roughly, ‘this is how my heavenly Father will treat you if you do not forgive others.’

How we treat others is how God will treat us – so, as someone once told me, think on!!

If you look up forgiving/forgiveness etc. you will see how important it is. It is the backbone of the gospels and the way to your future.

This is how I understand my God, look for yourself and see what you think.